This is a tentative first step into what I believe will be a new, significant phase of my life; I feel artistically brave and unselfconscious for the first time (maybe ever?) and I wanted to draw how that excitement and the sudden rush of possibility feels. I always thought true inspiration was just out of reach but now I can see that it’s always been there, waiting for something to pry it out. For the first time in years I feel compelled to draw for myself, explore the curious wave of inspiration, understand the discovery I’m feeling. I have caught a glimpse of how truly unexplainable/whimsical life can be, and I am delighting in the sensation of potential. It’s not merely within reach, it’s inherently part of me, and can’t be lost now I’ve grabbed hold of it.

I never knew touching inspiration could be so tactile, I’ve been opening doors to new courage to express/articulate myself, prompted by external forces but then realising this came from within and has been there this whole time.

I am seeing that I have the tools to take control of my future and understand my past, being lead by the hand in a dream directly into a new world of recognition and potential. I finally feel ready to embark on making personal, explorative work, I never thought I’d be able to break these walls down, but the self consciousness I had about self expression has happily melted away. This little piece is just a gentle exploration of this new optimism and looking forward to further creation; something that’s always been there, but it took a remarkable, unexplainable thing in my life for me to unlock this door. I want to make art about that, about my past, about my dreams, about my pain, about my place in the world, about the state of the world, about hope for a compassionate future, about love, about trauma, about my ideas – I am having IDEAS again!

Touching inspiration, seeing myself, forgiving myself, letting go, finding something akin to real magic that has shaken up my life and allowed new stems and shoots to burst forth. I have always been shy about naming illos but I want to call this Within Me All Along. I’m so excited!